Sunday, November 11, 2012

your story.

i had another blog.  one that i shared lots of stuff on.
this is something i wrote, sharing your story.
and you deserve to know your story too.

Third Time's a Charm

This is going to be a 3 part "series" in the months leading up to Max's 2nd birthday.
On the first of March, April & May I will tell a bit of my story.
Well Max's story. And mine, and Josh's. So it's our story.

Max's arrival was a long time coming. Part one of this will be a bit of a prologue so you can get the background on why this little guy is so darn special to us.

I'm not going to go too in depth because this is over a 3 year span. But it all began in 2006. We found out we were preggers with our first little bundle. SO excited were we. It was totally unplanned, but we were totally overjoyed. I told my family, friends, shouted it from rooftops(okay, I didn't do that, but you get my point). I did everything right. Took my prenatal vitamins, didn't eat lunchmeat, hot dogs or weird cheeses. No sushi, no alcohol, ate my veggies. All of our OB visits went well. Fast forward to week 12, headed for our last ultrasound of the first trimester, which meant we were in the clear. The nurse came in to do the ultrasound, showed me all of the developing arms and legs(so cute!), then she was having trouble finding the heartbeat. Said it was no biggie, sometimes she's no good at finding it when the baby isn't in a good position. So she goes to get the doctor and I'm getting more and more nervous. She seemed kind of nervous, didn't she? (I was asking myself and my girlfriend who came with me this question) The doctor comes in and seems a little "rushy", like something could be wrong. But no, my little sweet baby was fine, this is what I kept repeating to myself for the next 30 seconds until the doctor finally broke the news -- there was no heartbeat. The baby at some point(recently since it was so developed), stopped developing as it should, and died. My world came crashing down. This couldn't be right. I was almost to my 2nd trimester, I still felt pregnant, MY BABY had arms and legs for crying out loud. The next few weeks were hard devastating. As in all things in life, time passed and life went on.

Now let's fast forward again to 2008. We're pregnant again!! This time, no shouting it from the rooftops, and although we were SUPER excited, we were also extremely nervous and scared. So we tried to not get too excited, but any pregnant person can tell you how hard that is. A few weeks later I started having some spotting, which lead to bleeding, which lead to you guessed it - losing our second precious baby. Of course our hearts broke once again, but this time it was almost as if we were prepared for it.

Maybe we weren't meant to be parents?!

My family and friends over the course of these years reminded me that "everything happens for a reason" and that "God had a plan". I knew they were right, but when you're that sad, you don't think about what's right.

More time passed, life again moved on. Fast forward AGAIN to September 2009. I was pregnant.
Again, we were happy, but also scared. Would the third time be the charm?

Yes. Yes, it would.

Now I know what they all meant when they said that everything happens for a reason - those two lost babies gave me the most amazing little baby I could ever envision.
Now I know what they all meant when they said God has a plan - he had a plan for us, he knew we would be parents, he took those other two babies to live with him. I don't know why, and I don't ask why anymore.

The answer for me is when every single day I look into my baby's big blue eyes and fall in love all over again

Third Time's a Charm - Part Two

"His" story - part 2.
So if you're just joining now - go here for part 1.
So I was pregnant - for reals this time. We sailed through the first trimester. Then came the pains of the second and third. I didn't really have morning sickness, but what I did have?! Crazy awful back pain. Like break my back back pain. Nightmare. But I mustered through and realized that this growing belly was causing it, and that is just fine by me. Then came the pregnancy induced carpal tunnel. Which was just great because I type for a living. So that was lots of fun too! But other than those two things I really was a happy prego. No major issues, no dilemmas with my little boy, he was growing, I was growing, and all was good in the world. Then around week 37 I got the worst stomach bug ever. Try hugging the porcelain throne for two days straight with a watermelon under your shirt. It was probably one of the most uncomfortable situations... Ever.
a few days before the nasty bug hit - my last belly shot
So the bug came and went. The day after I was starting to feel a lot better. But then started getting this excruciating, sharp pain in my stomach. My first thought? Something is wrong with my Babe. So after putting heat on the pain for an hour and it not subsiding we decide to head to the hospital. Better safe than sorry! I got all checked out, I was dehydrated. Well after being sick for the past two days it's no wonder. The next day comes, it's Friday. Laying in bed watching Diners, Drive Ins and Dives(pregnant woman's dream..) and all the sudden I have this pain. Not a sharp pain, but almost along the same lines as a gas pain or cramp. Hmmm... Since this was my first pregnancy, I wasn't sure if this was a contraction. After an hour of timing these weird pains, I finally convinced myself that yes, these were contractions. And they were getting worse. Finally after two hours I woke up Josh and told him I think it's time. We got our things together and headed for the hospital AGAIN(we were just there yesterday!). So we get there and things really start getting real. I was 1.5cm dilated and my contractions were crazy at this point, and all that back pain I felt during pregnancy was NOTHING compared to the back labor I was now experiencing. If you have had back labor then you know what I'm talking about, and if you haven't, I pray that you never do. I soaked in the tub, rocked, walked, did everything I could think of to ease myself. All that stuff I learned in my birthing class was pretty much useless at this point. Nothing worked. 13 hours later and 3 cm dilated, I got my epidural. I was determined to do this thing naturally - but knowing now how AMAZING an epidural is, I've never regretted getting it. I was up all night in a crazy amount of pain, I needed sleep or there was NO way I was pushing this little guy out. So I slept on and off all day, our families and close friends milled in and out. Finally around 7 pm Saturday it was time to push. My epidural was wearing off at this point and as weird as this sounds I was happy about that. I could really feel the contractions and feel the urge to push and I think that helped. I only pushed for about an hour, and after every push I said I couldn't go on, I couldn't do it anymore. But I did, and I got the best reward ever.
Max Alexander
Born May 8, 2010 @ 8:35 p.m.
7lbs, 6oz
18.5 inches
perfectly perfect.

my first picture with my little boy - love at first sight.
and here he is all cleaned up
So there ya have it.
His arrival.
The day my life was forever changed. 

Third Time's A Charm - Part 3

I only have one babe, and I'm still learning every. single. day. Those first days weeks home were crazy. No sleep, couldn't get my new little precious to latch, messy house, etc., etc., etc... You know, the typical beginning to a new baby. I could do without sleep, and the messy house. But not being able to breastfeed my little babe? I was losing my mind over that one. He wouldn't latch, and once he latched he would fall fast asleep immediately. It was like this from hour 1 of his life. We struggled in the hospital, and unfortunately didn't get much help there either. But I kept at it, pumped, and used my handy "shield" - very glamorous, huh? Finally we got the hang of things, well not the falling asleep part. That was his m.o. Get on the boob, nighty nighty. It was fine with Momma, he was eating, he was happy, and he was all mine. I miss those days. We cuddled all day long. He slept on my chest, we had quiet moments with sweet little smiles. I was with him 24/7 and loved every single second of those months home with him. As weeks turned to months, and months turned to years, he turned into the little man he is today.
So happy, so sweet, and so hilarious.

From Day 1, to year 2(almost, he is officially 2 next week!), his life in review...